Ah, Australia. It seems to me, having never played there, which is almost literally a country where everything has something bad to you. They have sharks devouring surfers with long hair on its coast, its temperature over-hot-than-hell is responsible for numerous deaths every year, they have spiders walking in all nooks and cracks just waiting to rob you and / or crawl into your mouth while you are sleeping, their popular television presenters killers of fish ... and then there's the remarkable character of Alf Stewart.
But surely there is some slack in there somewhere, right? What about the noble koala, one of the cutest animals around? Surely they just relax in the treetops, eat some greens and usually send good vibes and positivity?
Well, not exactly. Apparently more than 80% of koalas have Chlamydia. The little bastards obviously jumped the discourses of sexual health when they were babies koalas. Moreover, cases in which they had passed on the DST for humans. And STILL more, apparently some members of One Direction may have acquired a koala Chlamydia, or at least that is how they are telling the story.
Liam Payne from the band said: "I am genuinely scared. This is worrisome. I never would have gotten the thing if I knew "about what could be the largest contraction of minors in a sexually transmitted infection ever since.
It seems that this is the equivalent of a clean sheet of boy band bass player dreads the drugs contracting the disease from a prostitute in Cambodia.
It should be noted, however, that the transmission of an STD from a koala for a human is unlikely (though not possible), so the interpretation of this entire article is practically meaningless. Joke for you, dear reader.
Source: Entertainment Ireland
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